Hate

I really hate myself.




I hate that Im being so emotional recently, I can drop my tears with small case. I even cried in front of my lecturer/tutor because I got wrong instruction again from them on my project. I can cry after I have a conversation with baby in phone every time, means that I cried few times in a day.


I hate that I always misunderstand the instruction that lecturer and tutor gave us for our final project, and I have to re-do most of the thing I have done. Again and again.


I hate that Im always suck in drawing graphic picture, not only graphic, even artistic works. I feel that im quite useless in my group. And I dont really giving idea for my group on our final project.


I hate that I dont have passion on drawing figure anymore. My figure always got grade B last time, but now I got grade C for it, and almost being rejected from lecturer.


I hate that I always awaked from my sleep, or could say that awaked from nightmares for couple times every night.


I hate that I feel so stress for this semester but the fact is this semester shouldnt be a stressful semester. And the subject for this semester is quite easy/simple for me, but Im just like couldn do it better, but I did the works like shits.


I hate that I always feel sleepy but when I come to the bed, it seems like so hard for me to fall asleep.














I dunno what to do with myself now.









Oh God, give me strength.